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YNV Code of Ethics
1. There is no “I can’t”, only “I choose”.
2. Nobody makes you do anything because you are always in control. (except in these workouts).
3. No front end excuses (F.E.E.’s) like “I didn’t sleep last night” or “I drank too much”. We don’t care.
4. More squats and push ups please.
5. Eat before you come here or die. We burn 600 to 1000 calories in these workouts you don’t want to faint and throw up on yourself.
6. Don’t be so uptight, you’ll look stupid in front of everyone and they’ll laugh at you.
7. Keep cursing at a minimum unless it is in the form of a good joke.
8. If you get lost during the workout just start squatting or doing push ups, we will never know.
This class is not for:
1. Walkers that can run but only choose to walk with their arms driving forcefully up and down because they think it burns more calories.
2. Cardio junkies that are afraid of building muscle because they are brainwashed by small and weak people in society that say it looks masculine.
3. People looking to have a social hour during their workout because they are used to a country club or a meat factory gym.
4. People afraid of challenges. If this is you, stop reading this and run away from here as fast as you can. Now!
5. People looking for a cuddling psychotherapy session from an unqualified personal trainer who cannot prescribe drugs.
This class is for:
1. People that welcome running because they understand they might have to run in real life.
2. People looking for an unconventional and un-boring workout because they are tired of traditional training.
3. People that realize we don’t know everything about health and fitness but we will do our best to find out all of your answers.
4. Leaders, motivators, innovators, people that walk to the beat of their own drum, (insert characteristic of a bada*s here).
5. People that truly want to get help with their health and fitness because there has never been a successful person who didn’t have a coach.
Warning!!!
If you are not getting results after 3 months of training with us, blame yourself, the bartender, your kids, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend or job.
Don’t blame us!
If you are getting bulky after 3 months, you are eating too much freaken food!
You are burning 600 to 1000 calories an hour here.
You are not eating 600 to 1000 calories here.
We cannot follow you around town after you leave here because you’ll get stressed out.
Please don’t workout with us if:
1. You don’t like laughing (We hate those people).
2. You complain to motivate yourself (We hate those people too).
3. You wear make up and those cute little matching workout outfits before you train. If you wear an outfit, it must be funny and we must be able to laugh at you.
4. You just want to say you have a personal trainer to your friends but stay fat because you never show up.
5. You continually show up without eating and bonk out. These people eventually quit anyways.
6. You are a dirt, dust, grass, and sweat phobe. You will crawl on your knees, sweat and get dirty here.
7. Believe you can think yourself thin using “The Secret” without getting off you’re a*s.
Please workout with us if:
1. You are a warrior and welcome the inevitable challenges that life offers.
2. You absolutely hate working out by yourself.
3. You want the support of a positive, motivating, and sometimes humorous team.
4. Ignite your sex drive. Yes we said SEX!
5. You can laugh at yourself, but even more importantly, laugh at others.
6. You love people.
7. You realize movement is infinite and there is not only one way to train i.e. only weights, only yoga, only running.
8. You are a glutton for pain but love the blissful feeling after a kick a*s workout.
9. You don’t mind being praised if you’re kicking a*s.
10. You want results. This is all that really matters.
Click here now!!!
One FREE Trial Session!
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2 to 5 Movement TrainingTM
workouts designed to get your body sleek and strong.
